Backstory

Here's how I got into this horrible business.* (*business usually denotes a profitable endeavor. I've made very little to no money doing this.)

It was November 2010. I was angry and bitter, to a much more savage level than most people would associate me to now. I was in the midst of a divorce, I had just another nasty break up with another girl I really cared about. I was an irritable cunt.
My good friend, Matt Dalberth, was a comedian and always pestered me about giving it a shot. I had done comedy 10 years prior at an open Mic held at Comix Cafe. (I did 3.5 minutes of random shit that just came to mind on the spot. It went well, but I never intended on doing it ever again.) So one day, I met him at the Comedy Club in Webster, Ny to write a setlist I never planned on actually performing. We hashed out a few premises, then he walked away. About 5 minutes later, he walked back and said "I just talked to my buddy Chet (Wild). I signed you up for the new comic showcase the night before Thanksgiving." Mother. Fucker.
Fast forward to the night of the show. I was beyond terrified. BEYOND TERRIFIED. I had 5 minutes prepared, and I was prepared to crash and burn. I remember following Billy T. Anglin. Billy had a killer set. I remember thinking I could never follow that. I almost left, honestly. But, I sucked it up and went up. Here's video.

I have to make amends about something here. Kate, if you ever read this, yes the car joke was written with you in mind. WAS being the keyword. Honestly, it could apply to any number of ex girlfriends. It just so happened we had just broken up, and was super aggro/passive-aggressive. I'm sorry and I feel horrible in retrospect. But truthfully, I love that joke and it usually kills. I'm truly glad we were able to establish a great friendship in spite of the ugly break up we had. I'm glad you live in California now, otherwise you'd probably knife me after reading this. :s

Oh, and Dalberth, fuck you for quitting comedy. I feel like a parent abandoned me. Grow your balls back and get back on stage you fuck.