Posheniac

Let me start off this post, which will get negated by everything I type after it, by saying how important remaining modest is too me. I fucking hate egos. I have one, I don't like it. I try my best to drown it in a sea of self-deprecation and bourbon. But alas, after the Thursday December 6th, I can't do that.

First of all, I got to open for Brian Posehn, who was awesome and is one of my favorite comics. Secondly, I KILLED. Which was great because I took such a huge risk telling a lot of new material. I have never received so many compliments after a set as I did that night. Definitely the kick in the pants I needed to take comedy more serious.... well maybe.

Chet Wild's Cringe Comedy Showcase

Aside from the douche before me finishing his set, the fact its sideways and the crappy audio quality, I'm very happy with my set/this video

Wildcard Round

I recently found out a number of semi-finalists in the Funniest Person in Rochester Contest are getting a second chance (Sept 5th) to advance to the finals. Yes, that is how a Wildcard round works. I think its a cool idea, but I have one major hang up with it. The vote is 100% audience. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?
Allow me to elaborate. Normally in this contest, the vote is broken up to 2/3 judges, 1/3 audience. The problem I have with 100% audience vote is this, there are several comics who I will not name, that are notorious for packing the crowd with their friends for the sole purpose of advancing. (It's a quantity over quality issue, essentially.)  I don't think it offers a true measure of a comics ability. In a nutshell, I think this is a terrible idea. But the truth in the matter is, I don't have a dog in this fight. This is just an outsider's opinion. 

What do I know about anything? I'm going to go back to writing mean jokes.

DUBLAND SLUGFEST

To audience members with no aspirations of ever taking the stage:

No matter the venue, whether its a gas station, coffee house, bar or legitimate club. Whether you paid $50 or got in for free...

SHUT THE FUCK UP.

To the comics:
No matter the venue, whether its a gas station, coffee house, bar or a legitimate club. Whether you're getting paid $500 or performing for free...

SUCK IT UP AND FINISH YOUR FUCKING SET.

Boulder Coffee 8/19/2012

So I reluctantly did the Boulder open mic on Sunday. I have a love/hate attitude towards that place. Firstly, I don't cotton to hipsters, with their post-modern ironic makeout parties... Or whatever it is those trust fund anarchists do. Ugh.. bane of humanity. They're like gypsies in cardigans.
     Anyway, as always, I enjoy hanging out with the other comics. The crowds used to hate me there, which by now I'm fine with.  But lately I've been making it on stage to win the prize money, a custom I think is ridiculous. I'm not sure if the crowd actually likes my act or if Bryan Ball wants to suck my dick. That being said, I've also never won... What? I guess its cool that its there for comics that want to hone their act. But the crowd is so much different from a comedy club crowd. But maybe that's a good thing? I've ate shit on stage at Boulder, but done same act at a club and I've killed. (PARADIGMS AMIRITE?!)

Is that a paradigm? Whatever.

End transmission.

LAUGH RIOT! UNDERGROUND CHUCKLE BONANZA FLERPY DERP sigh...

     Actually, fuck that sigh. Tonight was fucking fun. I'll be honest, it seemed bleak at the beginning.
     Kevin Ricotta hosted. Kevin is hilarious and one of my favorite local comics. As a host... I don't know, its weird. You could tell he was out of his element, but he stuck it out like a champ. I fucking haaaate hosting, so major props.
     The first comic, whom I've never heard of or seen perform to my knowledge (which means absolutely nothing to you, nor should it) was... Well, he was on stage tonight. That's about what I took away from it. There were a few others that went up I felt were hit or miss.
     I think the real stand out comedians, in my opinion were Dario Josef, Dewey Love and Nate Clark. I'm not just saying this because they're some of the few comics in the Rochester scene I look forward to seeing at these things. They were funny tonight and deserve the praise.
     Dario did a dirtier set than he's been known to do lately. Which, hey, if you can be cleanish and still be funny, more power to you, I guess.  Motherfucker works. But when I originally met ol' v-necks, he had some twisted material. I'm glad he went up went he did, because I had to go on right after him and I feel like he really brought the crowd back into it.
    Dewey gets better everytime I see her. I usually look at female comedians like this "Oh great, a female comic." Then I look for something to cut my wrists with. But Dewey is finally hitting her stride and writing some good material. 
     Nate fucking Clark stole the show. Thank god he went last. When I met Nate, he was the most hot and cold comic ever. He would either kill it, or get raped by silence or indifference. Lately he's been crushing it.
     I feel like my set went well tonight. (Yes, talking about myself is douchey. But its my fucking blog. If you don't like it, I hope you're eaten by AIDS monkeys!) I did some older jokes that I refined a bit, as well as a few new ones. I'm most happy with my new dragon joke. All in all, I'm happy with how it went. I think every intentional punchline got a response I can be happy with, especially in front of a small crowd. I think I probably did about 3.5.... maybe 4 minutes. Short but solid is what I'm going with. l'll have a video of my set from  tonight very soon.
     In total, there were 11-ish comics. I wrote about 5. If you want a better assessment of the evening as a whole, read onegirlsgiggle.blogspot.com

Fuck, I'm tired. Time for bed.

Vid'ya

Backstory

Here's how I got into this horrible business.* (*business usually denotes a profitable endeavor. I've made very little to no money doing this.)

It was November 2010. I was angry and bitter, to a much more savage level than most people would associate me to now. I was in the midst of a divorce, I had just another nasty break up with another girl I really cared about. I was an irritable cunt.
My good friend, Matt Dalberth, was a comedian and always pestered me about giving it a shot. I had done comedy 10 years prior at an open Mic held at Comix Cafe. (I did 3.5 minutes of random shit that just came to mind on the spot. It went well, but I never intended on doing it ever again.) So one day, I met him at the Comedy Club in Webster, Ny to write a setlist I never planned on actually performing. We hashed out a few premises, then he walked away. About 5 minutes later, he walked back and said "I just talked to my buddy Chet (Wild). I signed you up for the new comic showcase the night before Thanksgiving." Mother. Fucker.
Fast forward to the night of the show. I was beyond terrified. BEYOND TERRIFIED. I had 5 minutes prepared, and I was prepared to crash and burn. I remember following Billy T. Anglin. Billy had a killer set. I remember thinking I could never follow that. I almost left, honestly. But, I sucked it up and went up. Here's video.

I have to make amends about something here. Kate, if you ever read this, yes the car joke was written with you in mind. WAS being the keyword. Honestly, it could apply to any number of ex girlfriends. It just so happened we had just broken up, and was super aggro/passive-aggressive. I'm sorry and I feel horrible in retrospect. But truthfully, I love that joke and it usually kills. I'm truly glad we were able to establish a great friendship in spite of the ugly break up we had. I'm glad you live in California now, otherwise you'd probably knife me after reading this. :s

Oh, and Dalberth, fuck you for quitting comedy. I feel like a parent abandoned me. Grow your balls back and get back on stage you fuck.